I've only manage to get perhaps a chorus out. But it always starts somewhere




Oh How is it possible
The Weaver of Time
Would Die For Me?
Oh How is it conceivable
The Ruler of Heaven
cares for me ?
How can this Be
That A God would know of me
It's hard to imagine
That I'm Loved by God, A King.




i can't think of any other words now.. This is just a chorus..


there isn't much to say anymore than that.


Sunday wasn't so bad.. But i didn't bother posting again cause I was a wee bit lazy....
Had a annoying dream. Which btw is bad cause it's a dream related to a game... And which means im playing too much of that game or something....
I AM NOT going to mention what the game is i dreamt about...
Even i feel embarrassed about it ~_~......


Mmmm Tmr is my day... But im not going anywhere.. or doing anything.. Fun. Isn't it.


Today was much better... My mood has lightened up by a lot..
Perhaps it's because i was making myself preoccupied most of the day..... well night.
I was suppose to attend End of Year again Cosplay event... There were 3 reasons why i didn't go.


1. My Costume was still washing.. Though i could have dried it before
2. I kinda decided not to go 2 months ago.....
3. YA Christmas Party > EoYA


Heh....
The Christmas party was nice.. i got a nice present.. WHICH btw is still in church ~_~.. forgot to bring it home.. sigh...
It's eau de toilette (And for those who don't understand that..it's a type of perfume.. like cologne)
Mm maybe I'll use it >_>...

somehow.. it felt more cheerful than Christmas day itself......


Some1 told me i was a little too gloomy today..
I wouldn't disagree... I didn't feel much of any joy..... not very jolly either..
Some Christmas...
I actually didn't bother much to go for service... I just stay around in church.. seeing people talk to one another.. Putting up that somewhat "smilie" face i have....

There isn't much to do when every1's not around.. or least most of your friends aren't around..
I went home around 3pm... quite early i guess.. since every1 left a little later.

The YA's Party is tmr.. I'm gonna make myself enjoy it i guess..... I still need to get a present for the gift exchange... But i have to go visit my Cousin first.. They got a new house or something..... Sigh.. Annoying.


You know the holidays give a nice break.. But with too much time.. you get alot of time to think.. The more you think, the more emotional you get. You become more prone to sadness..

I've notice... How much I need people... As much I strive towards the idea of being a lone wolf.. I can't. I've always tried.....

Why? It's not very complicated..
But i don't want to say it out either.


It's 02 20 hours now... I can't sleep.. Because i can't make myself face tmr with optimism...

Dorcas said i was a little cold these few days..
I think i can explain why.
It's just that time of year... where my hopes.. and dreams.. fade away.
And it's that time of year.. I ask God.. Why?
It's the time of year.. For Solitude.


Christmas this year ? I haven't had much thought on it... I kind of threw away all thoughts of Christmas and my birthday down the well/drain after i knew the TMT Dates.

All will be missed this year...
Specially Christmas.
Perhaps it's one of the first few times I don't even want to celebrate it.
Of course i know It's about the Birth of Christ.
But... You no longer have the morale not the feelings to do it. Knowing You'd do it alone...
It's odd... this year..... i actually felt lonely.. i actually cried.... i felt... sadness....


But i guess some of them at TMT do remember about me. They wished me before they left.
I didn't want to hear it.. Just makes it more painful to forget about it.p..
But least I had a few wishes... That perhaps counts...